Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Don’t worry that the world ends today; its already tomorrow in Australia!